Holy Fudge
by Skylark Evanson
Summary: Casey is going to break my everything. *Title was commanded to be changed by my father...


**A/N: wow, I came up with this while I watched last night's episode. It was crazy. I laughed my butt off the whole episode. Sarah and Chuck are so cute, but they're overwhelming the show. On to the fic! This is my first attempt at a 'Chuck' fanfiction so please take pity on me.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and I will never own 'Chuck' or anything of the sorts. Morgan's POV.**

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_**Holy Fuck**_

When Casey said he'd hurt my, well, everything, I decided that Facebook would help me. I jumped online and tried to recruit some ninjas or goons to fight him so I could run on my little chicken legs to get away while my soon-to-be dead henchmen distracted him so I wasn't dead too.

While people were responding, I went to my flair and stuff and saw one that seemed suspiciously right for my situation. Except for the whole 'BFF' part, but the gist of it was pretty straightforward.

"She's my BFF, break her heart, I'll break your face," I read aloud as soon as I saw it. Chuck stared at me from across the room, one eyebrow raising, but I ignored his weird stare. He was Chuck after all. Just… being… Chuck… the super cool spy… and all that…

So, deciding to test this theory, I headed out to find Sarah and ask her what she thought about all this and to contemplate the real meaning behind this Facebook flair that girls would break boys' faces over broken hearts. Such a complicated world that women live in…

Sarah sat me down after I banged on her door around nine in the morning, knowing Chuck was already at BuyMore because I'd fixed up his hours to be super early so that I could have the place all to myself in the morning to dance around without pants on or have a girl over when ever I wanted, most likely Alex, but just in general. "What's on your mind, Morgan?" she asked, sitting across from me with her low-riding shirt and her perfect platinum hair.

Chuck was so damn lucky…

"So, theoretically," I began, "let's just say you and Ellie are best friends. Like, forever and all that jazz." I took a deep breath. "And you guys have been friends forever and you're like sharing secrets over the phone at midnight and talking about boys in the middle of the morning and-"

"The point, Morgan?" she asked, cutting me off sharply with a wicked twist of the corners of her lips as if she were getting sick of me quickly. "Please, just get to the point."

"So let's say, again, theoretically, that she and Captain Awesome have a bad break up." I bit my lip as Sarah raised an eyebrow for a long moment, curiosity ringing in her eyes. "Would you break his face? Or his everything?"

"Oh, most definitely his everything." She said with a quick nod. "Now get out of here. I have some spy work to get back to if you don't mind."

I left, reluctantly, of course. And so I turned to Ellie, praying that Sarah was just over dramatizing it severely. She was a spy. She had been trained to be a professional liar and a thoroughbred assassin. So over dramatizing could've always been biasing her opinion… right?

Ellie let me in. Awesome was out. He was truly awesome, I had to say. Doctor with abs like that had to be awesome. In the eyes of women everywhere, at least. And he had nice hair. More than once I had tried to steal his hair products, I confess.

"What is it, Morgan?" she asked, with the same, almost irritated tone that Sarah had used with me earlier. Why are all girls always hating on me like that? What did I ever do to piss them off so much? I behave. I try to be a gentleman, try being the key word there.

"Can I ask you a completely theoretical question?"

She looked at me, that skepticism ringing clear in her eyes. One eyebrow raised slightly and a twinkle of curiosity lit in her dark orbs. "Sure…" She really wasn't sure. Her voice was definitely uncertain.

"So let's say that you and Sarah are best friends for, like, your entire lives and she and Chuck have a bad break up." She blinked a few times, her lips forming a little 'O' as she leaned in a little further to listen in deeper. "Would you break Chuck's face?"

"Well," began Ellie again, brushing some stray strands of her hair away from her face, "if this is completely theoretical, then is Chuck still my brother?"

"Does that change your answer?" I asked.

"Why else would I be asking, Morgan?"

I mulled it over for a second before saying, "Fair enough." Then I leaned in too so that we could talk closer. "So Chuck isn't your brother. Would you break his face for breaking Sarah's heart?"

"Of course."

"And if Chuck was your brother?"

"No way."

I bit my lip and left quietly, deciding to give up after that. Casey was definitely going to break my everything. Alex would easily want to break up with me rather than having me break up with her. Just for both of our safety. Because I probably had people that would break her for breaking my heart.

Actually, I have no one, so I'd be screwed.

Casey's gonna kill me.

Holy fuck.

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**A/N: hehe. I love Morgan. He's awesome. I love him. And his fuzzy face. So review please! Thank you!**

**~Sky**


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